5/24/21
What’s In a Name?
Hi there! Today I am going to be talking about the tree that I adopted for LA, among other things. The tree hasn’t changed whatsoever since I adopted it, which makes sense because trees take a long time to grow. It’s army of leaves had already come in by the time I ‘adopted’ it, so I can’t really describe a noticeable difference in appearance.
Now onto the second topic: My name and how I got it. My name, Sophie, means wisdom (Not sure if that name fits me). Jokes aside, I got my name simply because my mother liked it. She had a list of names and thought that Sophie was pretty and unique. Just wait a few months and suddenly people were naming their children Sophie left, right, and center. Although my name may seem to lack originality, I assure you, it wasn’t intended to be that way. Either way, I’m the original so hah.
Alright, final topic of the day! Below I have composed a dialogue between my adopted tree child and one of my many hens (yes, yes, I know, a chicken, is that all you can do? What can I say, it was that or a grasshopper, for some reason the wildlife decided to hide when I needed a picture).
The Dialogue:
Trees are not what comes to mind when one thinks of a talkative creature. And for good reasons, they’re not. Most trees, in my limited experience, are quiet, reserved even. This short story of sorts is not about such a tree, however. This story, my dear reader, is about a rather irascible sycamore named Hemlock. Generally, trees are some of the most amiable beings that I have come across. Not Hemlock. Does his perpetual irritation stem from the desire to diverge from the stereotypes, I am want to know. He has an air of annoyance that billows from him in thick clouds of words and silence. Call me pessimistic, but he is the type of tree that if sees a glass half-full, will immediately dump out the contents (he only even lets the glass be half full in the first place. As you may observe, it’s a rather cynical cycle). It is my firm suspicion that Hemlock chose such an ironic name simply to spite the world. He is a sycamore, if you may remember.
Enough about that though, where are my manners? I am Piper, and no I am not a fellow tree. In fact, I am not even a creature of the wild (though I’d like to think of myself as one if only I could). I am, in fact, a hen. Yes, you heard that right. A hen that converses with ill-tempered shrubs. Hard to believe, I know, I know, but this is a true recounting of true events, and true beings. Another thing about Hemlock; he is brutally honest. His overall lack of care for others feelings is really what makes him an interesting character. He will say what he thinks, and nothing but. I met him on one of my first excursions into the small woods that resides next to the human’s dwelling. A quick observation: humans are awfully strange. It is simply the truth. They live in massive dens which are far larger than they could ever need, and they have growling monsters that crawl out from their dens and chew up the grass. Now, why on this green place would you ever need something that cuts the grass, but doesn’t eat it? Simply wasteful, in my opinion. Nevertheless, Hawthorn has endless complaints about humans. He pulls them out of the smallest of deeds and weaves into massive quilts of wrong-doing, then flings it over all who surround him.
Now, how, you may ask, did a hen like myself get to a woods where wild creatures lurk in the shadows? I walked. There is no better answer. The rather tetchy tree of which this story revolves around was located on the edge of the tiny forest, his bark melded with a neighbor’s rougher surface (perhaps being permanently attached to another living creature has made him sour. To be fair, some trees can be real toads when it comes to vying for energy).
Either way, our meeting was not your average introduction of two future friends. I was quite new to the small section of woods on which my humans allowed me to roam, and did not know proper tree edoquet (it is a very important life skill, I have learned). I was simply scratching about under a particularly insect-infested section of ground, minding my own business when I heard an irritated whisper of branches from above. “Yeah, go ahead, just tear up my floor why don’t you. Not a problem, not like you’re accidently ripping the life out of the seeds I have dropped ever so tenderly near my roots. Posterity, pfft, just kill them. Why not, it’s not like they can talk yet.They obviously don’t have feelings. Oh, no.” My head shot up and peered around in bewilderment.
“Oh shut up you impudent sapling,” snapped another croaky rustle of leaves.
“Oh, just impudent? No, no, I assure you, I am impolite, insolent, and down right impertinent. And that’s only the I’s.”
One of the trees directly above my head gave a huffy sigh, “Honestly, I don’t know why I bother.” I looked up cautiously, downright confounded.
“Oh, dear, where are my manners?” The tree swayed slightly, seeming a bit abashed. I promptly jumped back and tripped over one of the tree’s roots. “Don’t be scared, we don’t bite,” said the second tree kindly. “I am Ash, and this rupugnant lump of wood is Hawthorn.” I was so utterly flabbergasted at this point that I could hardly move. “And I’m the disagreeable one,” muttered the first tree.
“Don’t mind him, deary, he was ingested by some kind of bird as a seedling and came out the wrong way up. I also suspect he hit the ground too hard when he fell from the bird.”
The first tree made a low rustle-growling noise at the other one that made me take a hurried step back.
“Oh, yeah, never guessed trees could talk, eh? Yeah, yeah, not like anything else other than you in this vast world could possibly have feelings, no, no, not at all.” It seemed to be talking to me again, and I fluffed up rather indignantly at his accusation.
“Why—-I—-I never—— how dare you——”
The tree cut me off, “Nobody cares hen, nobody cares. Either way, next time you decide to go tearing about someone’s roots, don’t make it my roots.” I was extremely affronted by the manner of this peevish shrubbery, and although I am not at all someone who ever has a good comeback, I would not be talked to in such a way. “Why you stuck-up twig! How dare you treat me in such a way, you—-you——you—-filth?” My voice trailed up and off at the end, making my attempted insult more of a question. If trees had eyebrows, Hemlock would have been raising his sceptically. How do I know this? He was practically radiating the idea of the gesture.
“You really have a way with words, hen,” he said, voice laced with sarcasm. I fluffed my feathers even more, absolutely brimming with rage. “Hemlock, be polite!” scolded his neighbor. “Anyway, deary, what’s your name?” Ash seemed to be talking to me, which meant I was obligated to answer. (I am, if anything, always polite). “I am Piper,” I said truthfully.
“Now how did a little hen like you get such a name?” asked Ash questioningly. That was a good question. For a chicken to even know if the existence of sand pipers when she lives nowhere near any of them is quite unusual.
“A seagull that was passing through the area was complaining about them, and I asked him what they were.”
“Ah, seagulls, dreadful birds.”
“That we can agree on,” piped in Hawthorn. “All they do is squawk on and on about how they are and their lives, couldn’t care less about others. Quite selfish creatures.”
Now it was my turn to ask a question. “You’ve met more than one seagull?” Hawthorn’s branches rustled uncomfortably. “Well, I’ve met one, nevertheless, I am perfectly qualified to talk about them.”
“Oh, yes,” said Ash sarcastically. “Completely versed in the way of seagulls, are you? Just listen to this stick, Piper.”
Hawthorn did not seem to enjoy being called a stick, at all. “Stick? Stick? Oh, you want to go down that road do you?” Those comments quickly turned into a fully fledged verbal war, which quickly turned into an everlasting friendship between tree and bird. What fickle beings we are, indeed.


Although you can’t tell it, my hen is actually quite close to the tree, but I couldn’t get them both in.


—————————————————————————————————-
Ah, that was a longggggg. Either way, that’s it! I am trying to write in a different style, so sorry if it isn’t great. My story is a bit different than most everyone’s due to the fact that I am remote.
Alright! Have a great day, guys!